


How mould can score you a date and a pillow can bring you in trouble

by MuffinEngineer86



Series: It is never only mold - not in this universe [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 08:55:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30137091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MuffinEngineer86/pseuds/MuffinEngineer86
Summary: Darcy is minding her own business as mould ruins her day and reveals her mishap with a pillow. Now enter a reciprocated crush with Brock and good friends looking out for her.
Relationships: Darcy Lewis & Brock Rumlow, Darcy Lewis & Jack Rollins, Darcy Lewis & Tony Stark, Darcy Lewis/Brock Rumlow, Jane Foster & Darcy Lewis
Series: It is never only mold - not in this universe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2220336
Comments: 20
Kudos: 48





	How mould can score you a date and a pillow can bring you in trouble

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first time writing anything other than technical reports and requirements, since school (which was a long time ago). Also English is NOT my first language.  
> One year ago I finally got an Ao3 account after years of using the page regularly as a guest. I intended to start writing exactly this idea. But could never bring myself to do so. I got writers or better my comfort storytellers that I read everything they chose to share. I couldn’t even bring myself to comment on their stories because, who am I to put my two penys on them. So I showed my appreciation through kudos. But then I read more and more on Tumblr how some of you dear writers are treated by those so called readers or had your work stolen from you, which makes me angry and sad on your behalf. So now one year later I wrote that thing and when you have a tendency for perfection and thinking of yourself that you never know what you are doing, I start to admire you writers even more. Writing down what your brain is thinking is hard work. I hope I can at least catch your attention for 5min.

It is a slow and uneventful day in the astrophysics lab.

Jane tinkers away in the far corner of the lab, creating something new out of old parts and duct tape. The duct tape is only to annoy the resident billionaire. Jane loves seeing the nervous twitch of his right eyelid. She learned long ago to appreciate the small things.

Darcy is sitting in her new desk chair, it has a high backrest and a firm lumbar support. She loves this chair, for which she had to fight for with HR, back pain is serious business. While she waits for the debugger to do its magic, she’s thinking of the origin of the parts Jane is using.

The washing machine did find its end by the hands of Thor and Mjölnir. It was a sight to behold, when Jane told him in an annoyed motherly voice: “Yes Thor, I know Mjölnir dislikes the dishwasher, because it is too dark in there. And yes, I’m aware that she loves the spin of the washer, but no!”

Or the Toaster, Marty McToast, the chocolate sandwiches Loki shoved in there, were just too heavy on chocolate. Living with gods is like herding toddlers on a sugar rush, only that the crush will never come.

Surprisingly, the broken multimeter just died of old age after 20 years of duty.

Just as she tries to remember where the fog machine did come from, the alarm goes off. She locks eyes with Jane. Both brunets try to figure out what is going on. Just then a giant drop of some gooey neon orange coloured stuff is dripping from the ceiling directly on Darcy’s desk. She jumps back but she is not fast enough, the slime splashes on her shirt.

She rips the shirt over her head as fast as she could, to prevent the slimy gooey stuff from getting on her skin. In her agitation, she doesn’t notice the two men entering the lab behind her. Now there she stands in just her rattiest bra, that used to be white a long time ago. As she is cursing up a stack, the men are staring at her back. Anger and displeasure becoming visible on their faces. Darcy makes sure that only her shirt is hit with that stuff and is ranting about irresponsible scientists to Jane, who tries to find the origin of the slimy stuff and is facing Darcy. Jane realizes that they are not alone and recognizes the murderous faces of Jack and Brock.

She is about to say something, when Brock screams loudly:  _ “Who did this to you? Tell me their names? I will kill them dead.” _

_ “What is your problem, Rum..?” _ Jane just screams back but breaks up, when Darcy turns around and sees for herself what makes them so angry.

Her displeasure at Rumlow is instantly replaced with concern and white-hot anger at whoever touched Darcy. Darcy’s pale back is littered with tiny dark bruises along her spin.

Jane, filled with concern asks:  _ “What in the nine realms happened to your back Darcy?” _

This confuses Darcy even more and starts to defend  _ “There is nothing wrong with my back that you do not already know. It’s the burden you have to bear, when you have big breasts and a bad desk chair.” _

Jack, despite the anger and concern he feels, remembers his training and probs:  _ “Darling, your back is littered in bruises! You sure your back pain is not caused by them rather than your assets and the chair?” _

Darcy looks at him and counters:  _ “What are you talking about? My back is just shore from the tense muscles.” _

Jane says firmly  _ “No Darcy. Jack is right. Your back is bruised.” _

Just as Brock starts pleading with Darcy:  _ “Sweetheart, please tell us who did this? Don’t cover for them, it is not your fault. Please? We will help you.” _

Just then Tony strolls in the astrophysics lab like he owns it, which he technically does. He sees Darcy and says smugly  _ “Woah, short stacks! I promised Pepper to stay away from strippers, even if they have a doctorate.” _

After Tony hears three  _ “Shut up” _ and from Jane a  _ “What do you want Tony? We have more important matters to discuss. Shouldn’t you look after the alarm?” _ .

It dawns on him that they all are looking very concerned at Darcy. So, he states and asks  _ “Hey, it’s only a runaway slime mould, nothing dangerous. What is wrong with Darcy?” _ It takes a lot for Tony to call people by their given name and shows great concern on his part.

Brock answers him curtly:  _ “Someone beat Darcy!” _

Darcy defends herself  _ “No one beat me!” _

As Tony walks around Darcy to see for himself, Jane challenges Darcy  _ “Yeah sure your back just looks like that on its own.” _

Tony talks to her when he spots the bruising:  _ “What??? I need a suit. Darcy, tell me?” _

Jack then has an idea, which he doesn’t know how to formulate:  _ “That isn’t some. How to say. We all have our preferences, but you have to tell us if it has been consensual!” _

Darcy, Jane and Tony are looking sceptical at Jack. And Brock looks downright offended  _ “Back off Jack, I don’t care if there was consent you don’t touch a woman like that.” _

Darcy grows desperate:  _ “I said: No one beat me. Are you all nuts? Did the mould get to you all?” _

Tony then uses the opportunity and takes a picture of Darcy’s back. He shows the picture to Darcy:  _ “Look Darcy, see for yourself.” _

Darcy’s eyes grow in shock:  _ “What in Jocelyn Bell Burnell’s name? How did that happen?” _

Brock speaks pointily:  _ “You tell us?” _

Darcy is still confused:  _ “I have no clue!” _

_ “They look relatively fresh, yesterday evening not much older.” _ Jack analyses.

Realisation dawned on Darcy:  _ “Ohh, okay. Maybe the manual warning was not so far off.” _

_ “Darcy?” _ is all Jane could ask before Tony interrupted  _ “Also it has been some toy?” _ Four sets of eyes send raised eyebrows at him and he adds:  _ “Hey I’m married, I have to live through you!” _

Jane, Darcy, Jack and Brock chastise with as simple  _ “Tony” _

_ “God Darcy tell us! You are killing me here.” _ Brock sounds quite desperate.

Darcy just says:  _ “Shiatsu pillow” _

Jack voices what the others are thinking:  _ “A what?” _

Darcy simply explains  _ “A shiatsu pillow. You know, like the Japanese massage technique. Just as a pillow with two sets of knobs that move in opposite circles around. Mara did recommend them for my back pain.” _

All Brock understands is that someone recommended it, so he reacts in kind:  _ “I kill her.” _

Darcy stops him before he can go too far:  _ “No, you don’t. She and the manual did warn me to not overdo it.” _

Jane raises an eyebrow at Darcy  _ “What do you mean with overdoing it?” _

Who answers meekly  _ “Hm, yes, you should only use them when you are sitting in a chair and only for one cycle.” _

_ “Cycle?” _ Jack buds in.

Darcy's shame grows quite a bit and that is saying much after all she is still standing before them all in just her pants and her bra. And to make matters worse she has a really tiny crush on Brock. Eventually she answers  _ “Yah, they only do massages for about 5 to 10 min and then stop. But that felt so good, I did it for longer and on my couch lying down, so?” _

Jane can just shake her head. That is a typical Darcy move, she barely is able to hinder the smile that wants to break free.

One problem solved itself, one to go. Practical as she is, Jane says to Tony:  _ “Okay, Tony can you get the mould removed?” _

Tony, who is happy that he doesn’t need to tell Pepper why he sends an army of suits after someone, replies:  _ "Sure show me where it is. I send someone to remove it and get your lab cleaned.” _

Jack looks bewilder, how can Jane go back to business as usual after this discussion:  _ “Jane, what do you mean with okay? Shouldn’t we” _

Jane sternly cuts him off:  _ “No we shouldn’t. Darcy is a grown woman. She can do as she wants.” _

Brock walks up to Darcy and says:  _ “Hey Darcy, sorry for the screaming and making assumptions. We care for you. I care for you. So, when you need someone to give you a massage, I’m available and pretty good with my hands😉”  _ The last part is said with the typical smug and dirty grin Brock perfected over the years.

Darcy just grins, full of dirty promises back at him:  _ “I’m sure you are, but let’s try coffee or dinner first before we come to the good parts. Hmm, what do you say, Commander Whiskey Eyes?” _

_ “Commander Whiskey Eyes, I like that. I mean I like the name and any date you want, Doctor Hot Lips.” _ he stutters back at Darcy, but he really should have expected her boldness, Darcy doesn't play coy, as much as Natasha is telling her to do so. Darcy thinks that it is playing a dump game that makes everyone lose in the end, her any chance of a good and healthy relationship and the man any trust and interest that has been there. After all we are living in or want to live in a world where NO means NO.

Before Darcy can go one with their weird flirting, Jane shouts in a concerned voice:  _ “Darcy can you stop your awkward mating ritual. The mould is gone??? It’s been right here on Darcy’s desk.”  _ She and Tony are looking confused at Darcy’s desk. Jack picks Darcy’s shirt up and is also not able to see any traces of the orange mould. Jack states  _ “Tony are you sure that it has only been some harmless slime mould?” _

Meanwhile Brock and Darcy join the others at her desk.  _ “Tinman. That stuff splashed on me. In Ruby Payne-Scott’s Name, what has that stuff been? I hope for you that this is not eating me from the inside out.” _

Tony and the other two men are looking quite concerned.  _ “I just told you what they told me. Jarvis run some checks and find out what the crazy biologists had been doing up there. If you would have kept the cameras installed in your lab, we would know where it has gone.” _ Says Tony, during the last part he points at Jane.

_ “I fear the date has to wait till we find the mould and make sure that you are okay.” _ Brock says and looks with puppy dog eyes at Darcy, who has to stop herself from laughing. Then he fails at the puppy dog eyes; it looks more like a sad duck face. Still cute but funny as puppies tipping over their own paws. All Darcy could hope for is that all that drama will bring her a whiskey eyed, Elvis haired man on her couch to cuddle with, more than cuddle and rather the bed than couch actually, but who cares.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> I am open to constructive criticism, to all the rest of you, you do not like it, read something else.  
> PS: According to TV documentaries and wikipedia:  
> Dame Susan Jocelyn Bell Burnell (*1943) is a British (North Irish) radio astronomer and astrophysicist who discovered the first radio pulsars in 1967. Which was awarded the 1974 Nobel Prize in Physics. She may be credited with "one of the most significant scientific achievements of the 20th century" but never received a Nobel prize herself.  
> Ruby Violet Payne-Scott (1912–1981), was an Australian pioneer in radiophysics and radio astronomy, and the first female radio astronomer ever. During WWII she worked on secred radio projects, and was an atheist, a feminist, advocate for women's rights and a communist (the three later facts had her watched by the Australian Security Intelligence Organisation (ASIO)).


End file.
